...I got tummy ache. "here, take these" mum says, and gives me a couple of those chalky tummy tablet things (no brand names here folks). Thus 'cured', my patient, understanding, attentive, gorgeous boyfriend and I go for a walk by the river.
This particular stretch of the fine Thames is pretty much deserted of people and facilities, and about half way down, my gut starts to tremble. And then shake horribly.
Cue lovely boyfriend assisting (he can't carry me, that would have menat trouble for his new coat) crippled niceandwarmandhot down muddy path (how appropriate) whilst we figure out where I can 'go'. I know its going to be messy, so bushes are out of question as I'm wearing a skirt, and it will, ahem, 'show'.
So we race to the flashy garden centre, and I ask the nice man at the deskif they have any loos. Yes, over there, so staggering by this point, I get to the skank hole that is the toilet.
And let rip.
No words to describe, only my boyfriend's face when I came out (the first time, there was a lot of running back in). Sheer horror. I have not been back to the centre because of the damage I did. And I will NEVER take said tablets EVER again. I can't even have chalky mints...
Smell travels.
Still have boyfriend though! (hence the wonderfulness earlier)
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